A new beginning... yet again

The frustration exists only because you want it to exist.

As a rule, I've always been a fool. When it's hot I want it cold, when it's cold I want it hot. Always want what is not.

Aren't we all like that?

No one here wants to harm me. I came here looking for peace and space - space to think, to write, to ponder, about anything, absolutely anything. Random thoughts, a few smiles, a bit of loneliness, some anonymity, a new beginning, to leave behind a 24-year-old past. To start from scratch.

This country offered me all that. And the minute I got it, I wanted to run back. Why?

I don't know.

I cannot keep running. I'm only trying to run away from myself. I'll never be able to manage that. It's not possible.

I need to be patient. I need to see Qatar like I saw it during the first few days I landed here. A country, which is a little laidback, slow, lazy, away from the rest of the world. It's synonymous with me. I only gotta sink in, gradually.

I came here looking for a new country, a new culture, some new people, fully aware I wasn't going to stay forever. How many months, or years, I didn't think.

I might have said a lot, but I'm still not thinking. There is much more to see, much more to know, much more to feel out here in this small beige country.

There are miles to go, before I return.

Welcome back to The Qatar Diary.