I learn the hard way, my way

I had never used a credit card in my life, till about a month ago. Lots of people told me lots of (negative) things about having a credit card in your wallet.

One of them was, "Ro, a credit card is not meant for a person like you. You'll fuck up, when you can't even manage yourself in your salary."

It made sense to me, when in the next 15 days I had blown up double my salary on my credit card.

But it didn't scare me.

It's bullshit when they say credit cards are meant for disciplined people. Mega Crap!

Credit cards are meant for totally indisciplined people, like me. Those that are disciplined will never need any credit cards anyway. They should manage rather well in whatever they earn.

That plastic was meant for me. For me to learn.

Learn the hard way. It's taught me.

Whenever people, including my parents, or my well wishers, my friends would tell me something, I'd never bother listening to them. I still don't. That's just me. It's something I really can't help. Even if I could, I woulnd't really help it.

I learn things in my own sweet time. I learn them from my own experiences, from things I see and feel rather than from what I hear or what another person has to say.

Why should I do something, someone else, who's probably lived a few extra years on the planet than I have, is telling me. How he thinks is different, what he does is different, what he wants from life is completely different from how I think, do, and want.

I'd rather fall while walking on the wrong path, get up and trudge back to the right path after I am totally dead sure that the path I am trudging on is wrong, instead of doing what someone else thought was right, maybe it was, but I'd always wonder... what if I had taken that path.

At least my way, the hard way, where making mistakes is not a crime, I am sure of both ways. These are my experiences.

Today, my indiscipline, taught me a whole lotta things. It made me go back straight home for three straight days instead of a bar. I'm peacefully watching TV, DVDs, sipping coke, eating chips, and waking up early in the morning fresh, sans a hangover.

How did this seemingly impossible thing begin to happen. Who taught me? When did I learn?

I learnt when I was supposed to learn. I learnt because of the mistakes I was supposed to make for me to learn. Eventually, I always do.

But I enjoy making mistakes. It makes me feel very human.

I am an extremist. Until I reach the peak of anything I do, I don't stop. Be it a song, which I would listen to over and over till I can't listen to it anymore, or it's love, or it's alcohol, or work...

It's living life the hard way. It's living on the edge. And (according to me) if you aren't living on the edge you're grabbing way too much space.

Life's really easy, sometimes terribly boring, sitting safely away from the cliff.

I like being near the cliff because I believe in my destiny. I believe in fate. I surrender to God's will. If I must fall, I will.

Yes, that's easier than the easy way - blame everything on God's will. But what the heck! The ride's still on.

I am just a pencil in God's hand. It is He who writes.

Watch me now save money, finally!

PS: Comments from now on have been disabled on The Qatar Diary. I don't need you anymore.