It's the distance

I've come a long way from home. So far away, I don't even know where home is anymore. All I have left is memories, some sweet, some bitter. A past I'd rather forget, but can't.

Hope, that one day, a place will find me - a place that I'll call home.

It's not too far away, not physically. But the distance I've come is in the mind. It's too far away. It's unreachable.

It's foolish to try and turn back. This is me, no matter what. I can't be altered.

I've accepted defeat... Total failure. I lack the courage to fight back. So I help the failure along. So much so, I've started enjoying the act of provoking others. I've started taking pleasure in making people hate my very guts.

Clearly, it's defense mechanism. I'm so scared that they won't like me, so I try and get rid of the entire suspense - I just help them to hate me straight up.

I've seen life slowly slip by me. I've watched it go by, inch by inch. After every inch I'd say, 'it's just an inch, I'll take a big leap and cover those few inches, hold it back, things will be okay'. I wanted to see how far I could leap to have it all back. Make life a little more interesting.

Then one day, I turned around to make that jump...

HAHAHAHAHA!

I couldn't even see it - my life. It had disappeared. Where would I jump? Which side? How far? I couldn't even see a glimpse of it. Everything was gone, just like that, inch by inch.

So, after a couple of tears dried up, I turned back around, and, step by step started walking, step by step away from my life. No aims, no ambitions, no goals no more.

Just one - One day, I'll touch the horizon.