Lust for life
I've bumped into what I was trying to run away from.
These are by far the toughest days of my life. In every which way possible.
I've realised you can't go out looking for peace and serenity to other places, by hopping countries or cities. Peace is within you. You gotta find it within you.
It would be wrong to say I ain't trying. I am trying to find peace within me. But I just can't find it.
Fine, friends I have made, money I am making, an independent life I am living... but there's something missing. And I have absolutely no idea what it is.
It'll come my way on its own, you say.
Then why am I like this. Why am I craving for it? Why can't I just wait for it and enjoy these moments that are fading away as I go on thinking?
What is missing?
There's something missing from my life.
A girl once told me, "your USP is your lust for life."
I've lost that lust.
I want it back.
Can a man just suddenly wake up and change the way he's been?
posted by Once the Conman at 3:52 PM
7 Comments:
The lust is within you Rohit...You can never lose it...and peace too is within you....how can you, a man who knows and could teach the meaning of true AND unconditional love to someone, not find peace??? Peace comes with love. I found my peace on that rainy evening...I found what I had been searching for....my search ended with you...
You are beyond me D... far far beyond me.
Just dont understand how for so many many years you can be so purely in love with me when I am not actually with you...
And I've been so bad with you... so mean to you at times...
You make me feel ashamed of myself. And at the same time you make me proud - That a woman like you is in love with me...
I am soooo sorry... for everything.
You havent lost your lust for life.. you're just too caught up with where its leading you.
But I wont preach... I'm as lost!
Well this is a wonderful piece- but yes- D is right you can't lose that lust..... you know the person, you should know better what the person means. But you see, realization is also a result of that lust for life. You want peace cause you know you don't have it. Besides, if you have never known peace you would never know the difference between peace and disorder (is that the right word?) What is missing? you just to figure it out. You can't wake up and change the way you have been, but you can acknowledge what changes you want. Am I making any sense? No I suppose.
ps- don't wanna sign in again- so posting as anonymous fro the time being - The transient twilight.
yes...it is possible to lose that lust....u know when we are young we are a particular way cos thats who we really are--untouched by experience. but then life happens. and yes, it could make you jaded.
can fight it....but sometimes, try as you might, you cant stop it from twisting u into a different person...if only we could stop rationalising/thinking/intellectualising/scrutinising....if only we cud do all of that, it'd be ok...
i know i'm jaded.often, one feels like life's coming apart at the seams, tattered, frayed, whatever. i wish i could look at the world as i looked at it then....years ago. i wish i could believe in people, in friends, in love...in life...in fact, yes, i wish i had the "lust for life" as u call it...
but now i dont and really, maybe that's fine...we've lived a lot longer than we did years ago, so maybe it is NATURAL to feel tired??maybe, we are all just getting tempered and evened out??
and the only 'consolation', however warped that might seem, is in knowing that everybody goes thru these patches of emptiness. i'd be lying if i said i didnt, but maybe the fact that EVERYBODY experiences it has a message??maybe we were MEANT to feel that void??and if that's the case, maybe we should figure out WHY??
btw, i am sorry that i leave these extremely long winded comments! i was just thinking out loud!and i just read what i wrote and realised i'd given u too many maybes. and something else occurs....a line i once read....i dont remb where but the phrase was "cynicism of youth"...and the author went on to say that cynicism was a young person's symptom...when one was truly grown up, one learnt to go BEYOND cynicism...as of this moment....those words make perfect sense. maybe, we are all just growing up conman...20's is probably the age when reality hits you??when we've lived long enough, we'll probably learn to go with the tide and stop obsessing so much about our inner life and whats happening to us.like our parents....i'd like to live long enough to find the easy comfort of their days...wouldn't you??i'd like to grow up enough to realise that it's not about me, and that at the end of the day nothing is really THAT bad.
Dont ever, ever be sorry....I dont want you to be....
Post a Comment
<< Home