A Whale in the Yamuna?

Hehehe. The thought itself is funny. Ludicrous - I hate this word, why the hell do I keep using it? Raise your hand whoever taught me this word!

I'm pretty sure most of you have read about the northern bottle-nosed whale that strayed into River Thames in central London and has been making world headlines ever since. Most of you, except a couple of my Indian ex-girlfriends, who didn't know who the prime minister of India was, would have read about it.

Check this: It's sad that the whale had to die. It died because a whale of that size isn't able to carry its own weight and suffocates to death, if not in deep waters. But still, this Reuters paragraph makes me smile. Not smile, but just picturise the whole scene.

The whale captured the hearts of the nation during live television covereage of every twist and turn in the saga, and huge crowds lining the river banks burst into applause as the elaborate rescue operation got underway.

I can so picturise this. London is like that. Londoners are just like that. I love them to death. They're the most uninhibited human beings I have ever come across... uninhibited, at least when they're in London.

I just love the way they walk in broadways, without giving a fuck about anything, anybody in the world. No one bothers to look at no one. Eye to eye contact means sign of aggression in their world.

Do your job... let me do mine. Don't butt into my world and I won't butt into yours. Ask me the time and I'll probably look the other way, coz when and if we meet again you're gonna wanna say hi.

I swear I love them. Everything about London is just so London. It's inexplicable.

Now let's say, hypothetically speaking of-fuckin-course, a whale lost its way and swam into the Yamuna river in let's say Delhi.

Yeah yeah, I know, leave alone two days, it won't survive in that muck two minutes. Either it'll swallow Buffalow shit, or it'll get entangled in the garbage thrown in there (yes, that river in the capital of India is used as an official dumping ground by everyone, be it a common man or a politician).

But still, let's say, a whale was spotted swimming aimlessly by a few passers by under the Yamuna Bridge. And somehow I, a reporter at the local tabloid, get the information.

"Sir, Sir, there's a whale swimming in the Yamuna river. Let's get our photographers there."

"Whale? What whale is it?"

"How the fuck does that matter man?"

"Check if any photographers are free. We'll carry a picture caption. Where the fuck is that rape story?"

"Balls to the rape story. Let's do a proper story on the whale man."

"What story on the whale? Who wants to read about a whale? Get me that damn rape story."

"The rape is not confirmed man. Let it get confirmed first. What about the whale..."

"Just write "sources said...". We'll confirm it later."

"Listen... the whale..."

"Fuck off... bloody whale whale whale. How can a whale come into Yamuna?! Get out. Get me that rape story."

Yep... that's more or less the kind of conversation I'd have with my editor. He'd be right in his own way. People in India can't even shit without a rape or a murder or a Filmstar involved in a sex scandal story on the cover page of the tabloids.

The whale story is an out and out super mindblowing story. But in London. Only in London. That's because the crowd is as involved with regard to the subject as any of the rescue teams or the officials involved. I mean, people were travelling from far away distances, going in the tube all the way from Osterly to the Thames Bridge, which is about 25 stations away, just to see the whale and the rescue op. In fact, a number of them, standing in a line, in the direction the whale was swimming, were trying to pour water on it so that its skin remains damp.

And that's because London is London. And India... will always remain India.

I love both though. Because when I feel like going to London, all I have to do is take a 7hr flight. I'll get to London.

We don't want two Londons in this world, now do we?

You go India!