DTMDPH

What a sad ass headline? But the entire thing wasn't fitting in one line without a break, and I am in no mood to think for a shorter heading, especially on my OWN blog man.

Basically the full form of that is: Different Things Make Different People Happy.

It doesn't take a wise man to know that. But I think it took me a little amount of enlightenment to acknowledge that.

Had it been my way, no matter how much I say that I let people be, I'd change the way people think and believe and behave to exactly how I want them to, to what I think is the right way to think and be.

But let's face it, I can't do it. With great power come great responsibility. This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm spiderman.

Lol... kidding. Love that movie, always pretended after watching it, still do, that I'm spiderman and irritate my mum for hours after that. She has a hard time believing that the retarded man in front of her is 24.

Anyway, my point is. I wish I could, but I can't. Not just yet. Someday though, I know I will. Change people around me. At least a few, who in turn will change a few more people. And maybe millions and millions of years later, everyone in this world, if there still are people in it, will think the way I do, the way I want them to.

Who am I? I'm spiderman.

Lol... ok no joking now.

Yesterday, I met a few more new people. We were drinking around, listening to some rocking rock, and what else, discussing, taking each others points of view, debating, getting to know each other, like or dislike each other, forming opinions on each other... you know... the regular crap.

Had a conversation with this 29-year-old Bangalore guy, who said his career meant everything to him. That he's dedicated his life to his career and everyday tries his best to make something out of his life. he loves the Honda Accord he's bought recently. He said, had he been in India he would have never been able to purchase his dream car. In India, he said he was one of many. Whereas in Qatar, he's somebody.

He took an easy way out, coming to a fast-developing, under-populated, small country. He admits, he cannot work in India.

Duh. The competition will kill you.

I don't understand this concept of giving your life to your career. I just don't. It seems to me stupid, and foolish, and idiotic, and a waste of life.

But then, he told me he was happy.

But I say, he's happy with this life because he hasn't seen the other side. It's one-sided for him. For him, his promotion means everything to him, the annual raise means everything to him. I think that's the cause of all the trouble, all the jealousy and all the greed. That's why, if you look at the larger picture, there are fights, and wars, and chaos.

If everyone was like me, ambitionless, doing a job because it gives you food at the end of the day, and you do something different other than just sitting home watching TV. That's it. Thigs would be so much more peaceful. No one would fight, or be jealous, or backbite, or cut and pull each other down to get up the ladder of success. The rat race would come to a halt. A Dead halt.

Another guy, who's from Mumbai, asked me, if I got the editor's position, with a great hike in salary, a super position, would I take it?

No, I said, without thinking. I woulnd't.

After I quit Times of India, I got a job as an editor in an Adventure Magazine. I was the top guy, the guy who was handling everything. I mean, I was the boss. I coulnd't do it. Even though I didn't show that I coulnd't. I cannot take desicions. If someone else takes a decision for me, I can pull off anything. But it's just not in me to lead a team that brings out a publication, or head a team that's trying to make money for someone else.

Yes, I can lead a country. I will. I dream of leading people of this world. And I will try to, I still am. Lead them to knowledge beyond books and jobs. Lead them to the light.

I don't know. It sounds stupid, doesn't it? I can't bloody lead a newspaper and here I'm talking of leading a country and actually being succesful at it.

But I know what I'm talking about. I don't know if you'll understand, but it's like jumping down from a building, with the intent to die, and not dying. Getting paralysed for life. That's what leading a small time thing means to me. Falling, and not dying. Yes, I am scared of small failures. Not big ones.

But I know, when I jump from a plane, head down straight, I am sure to blow my brains out. I ain't scared of that. I can do it. And I know once I take the leap, I can pull the strings to open up the chute to land real safe on my legs. if it doesn't open however, I know... I'm dead.

I'm ok with that risk.

I'm a writer. I write. Whether I am a Senior Writer, or a Junior Writer, or a Feature Writer, or a Reporter... call me whatever you want, my visiting card could say whatever... I'd still be writing.

Even if am without a job, I'd still write. Anything. Whatever. I'm just lucky I feel, that I get paid to do this. It's by chance, I think.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Or maybe I can't explain it very well.

Sure, different things make different people happy.

In my second book, 'Again', one of the lead characters, Daisy, said: "Heaven and Hell are places on earth. It's what we make of them. No one has ever seen Heaven, defined Heaven... what it looks like... but we gather, it is a place that makes us happy. It could be alcohol for some, work for some, drugs for some, killing people for some, money for some. We choose our own Heaven. Everyone has the right to."

Sure... no one can stop anyone from choosing their Heaven.

My Heaven is to try and tell people the right way, the way it was meant to be, the way it should be, the way people should think, and act... My heaven is to tell them the way to peace, not on an individual level, but on a larger, very large, level... individual peace will come around with time, a long time... but it's worth the wait. You'll know that, if you think like me.

I don't know who I am, or what my purpose on this Earth is, or if I'll achieve it. I am only here to secure my Heaven.

I look up. What do I see? I see God, smiling at me.