A hopper's life

Five more days to go. And I'll turn 25.

25! Wow. Quite an age 25 is huh? At 25 most people know where they're headed, or where they intend to head. It's a quarter of a century, so certainly quite a bit more than a quarter of your life already over...

This year has gone by really fast. So much has happened. Just about this time last year, I had quit Today, to join Times.

My last birthday at Buzz... Bawa, me and Meghna - the kiss that went on forever. And then I left for the hills, returned to see her gone... forever.

Confusing. It's already been a year - well almost, October 24th - since we both broke up. Time's just flown by.

She seems happy now, with someone else.

A couple of months later I met another girl. Again, I thought she was all I ever dreamed of. There were promises, the same ones... again. Then she went back to her exboyfriend - February 15... that was the day.

I was jobless then. I had left Times on February 4, after some crazy issue over the MMS Scandal. It was hard... all of it.

Random thoughts. Qatar seemed like a blessing in disguise. It might still be, only I can't seem to recognise it.

25... maybe things change in the next five days. You never know. It takes a minute for lives to change. 25... and I have no idea where life's taking me. I don't even know if I'll accept what life gives me.

I sometimes feel I am the fool searching for nothing. Whatever I get, I don't want.

25 - what have I done?

1) Swam for Delhi - never enjoyed it. Left.

2) Played cricket for Delhi and at the Junior International level, and for Kent Seconds (UK) - one day got sick of the politics, thought it was all directed at me... quit.

3) Modelled - a guy asked me to sleep with him - got pissed off... quit.

4) Got into journalism... wrote bravely... got shot one day - i was 19 then. Police protection for six months. Parents threatened for life. Police protection for them as well.

5) Stood up for a friend... he back stabbed me - was asked to resign from my first job. Quit.

6) Got another one... 7 months later - 9/11 (the date) - editor accused me of something I didn't do. Quit.

7) Then another. Fight with the editor. Quit.

8) Another. Won an Award for Excellence in Journalism in one of the biggest Media groups of India - cash award. Rs.25,000. Spent it in one day. Asked Dad for some money the next day and he kicked my butt, literally.

9) Worked for the longest ever in an organisation - 2 years, 7 months.

10) Joined another organisation. Great promotion. Super raise. Took it blindfolded. Quit after three months.

11) Joined an Adventure Magazine about to be launched as Managing editor. Thought the job was made for me. A few weeks later realised being the boss aint easy.

12) Offer from Qatar. Ran for it. Didn't even give my resignation where I was the managing editor!!!

Sounds funny all this. It's not. Trust me. There's a lot of pain and anger in between those lines.

25... I've written two books. One published... second, unpublished, coz "it's not the time for love stories", turned into a stupid blog book. Trying to turn that one into a crossover screenplay now.

25... countries visted - India, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, China, England, Wales, Qatar. So many more to see...

What do I want? I don't know. Where do I go from here? I have no idea.

This post is messy... I know... It kinda signifies my life right now...

25...well, almost... waiting (desperately) for my life to unfold...